she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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