im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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