you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
