More tranny stories later!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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