i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
