Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
