are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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