i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
