their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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