You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
