we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
