You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
