i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
