Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
