I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
