i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
