I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
