She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
