She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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