you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
