If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
