hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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