erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
