That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
