Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize