I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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