i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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