Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
