dude i'm inner monologue high
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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