I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
