i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The power of my boobs compel you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
