I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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