Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
