Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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