I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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