you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
