dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
too bad you live with your parents still
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
