READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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