i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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