Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize