I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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