i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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