dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
