real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
