none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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