Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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