I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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