Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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