Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
