Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have aggressive nipples.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
