All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
