Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
