Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
