My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize