At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
