I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
