Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
