Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
