there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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